“An
option against gender column is not enough, the space is to be created within
mind.” Reema said while making me sit on the sofa. I have gone to her house to
wish on Reema’s birthday. She turned 40 today. I could see the wrinkles
overhauling her now, grey hairs taking the lead and slow pace in her work. I met her after long 8 years and she
certainly had changed with time.
In
2009, I met her in a bus in Madhya Pradesh where she had come to address the
sex workers and aware them of the AIDS. She had her seat next to mine. I remember, while I was busy on my laptop
noting the day-deeds, she corrected few of my grammar and spelling mistakes.
Astonishing was not her brilliant command on English, but what surprised me was
her manly voice. Later, when I inspected and learned, it got difficult for me
to call Reema either ‘He’ or ‘She’. Although, the journey helped me to know
Reema and her community. She is talkative, confident and brave enough to take
lead in all circumstances. She has always been a proactive member working to
empower her community in terms of rights and justice.
I
never had much conversations later in the years. I was in Mumbai for a week and
fortunately got a chance to meet her again. I was at her house in Parel, a
small 1 R-K apartment, nicely decorated. All the awards showcased, and photos
framed on the wall.
“How’s
your work?” She asked me while offering a cup of tea.
“Thanks,
all good at work.” I said while holding firmly the cup of tea.”Ah! Bliss is
Tea.” I complimented her after a sip.
“Congratulations,
the bill has been passed. You won, you were struggling for.” I continued.
“You
know Tushar, I did my MBA against ‘Male’ category, even though I knew which
category I belong to. I got placed in a multi-national company too. Later, on a
party-eve I told my boss about the circumstances I was in. In very few days my
job profile was manipulated calling my performance weak. Indirectly I was
forced to leave the job.” She said while staring at one of the award on the
wall.
“Why
is it so difficult to accept us in the way we are? Why getting a home gets
difficult for us? Why we feel abandoned from the society? When people can come
together for the rights of women, then why not they just turn it to rights for every
human?” She turned to me to convince with her words.
“It’ll
take time Reema. I remember, you were so positive with thoughts of changing
society and kept a firm stand. The mindset is changing over years, may be few
more years. Do not lose hope.” I tried to console her with not so impressive
statements.
“My
parents haven’t seen me from years. I remember, a day I called my mother to
tell her about my achievements. She told me about seeing me on media as well.
When I asked her if I could meet them, she enquired if I’ll come in saree to
home too. I never called back them ever then. If a womb cannot accept me back,
it’s never easy to expect from others.”
She said passing over the TEDx invitation card to me.
“Woah!
So, you will be speaking your heart out. Impressive” I said looking at the
nicely printed red colour invitation card with Ms. Reema written on centre left
of the card.
“Join
us if you can.” She said. “I’ve to be in Bangalore. Best of luck” I replied. I left from the
place thereafter.
On
way back to my hotel, I saw few transgender begging along the shops which made
me dip into thought for a while.
The
body we are in is never our choice, almighty sends us either to be a male or
female. Wait! Let me correct myself. It is male, female or transgender. If the
former two can have a place, then why not the latter one as well? Yes, they are
same in every manner except one; which should not bother you, me or anyone. It
is a soul residing in a different body which has all the abilities same as us.
Many
of us judge for their behavior and have misconception regarding the life they
live or opt. It is because of the way we have treated them for years. The lack
of opportunities in job, disrespect in society and taboos they have been
burdened with are the factors they have chosen a life that would allow them to
survive.
Yes,
giving a section in all the documents for transgender is not all required but a
space in your heart as well. They are okay to sing, dance in your celebrations
but why not taking a place in your businesses?
Why
it gets so hard for them to confront their parents and live with them for whole
life; and forced to find souls like them?
We
are changing with time, I agree! But switching from jeans to short pants,
chapattis to burgers and much more took like minutes. But decades have failed
to change our behavior towards transgender. The reason lies behind our
acceptance. We have restricted our minds not to have empathy.
It
is not them, it is ’we’. We have failed to develop minds which are unbiased. We
are afraid to pass a smile to them, initiate a talk and drag a day of life with
them. Have you ever appreciated them for who they are?
May
be never. I know, it is very difficult to move a step down from the road and
walk. But, believe me the road we walk on was never there. It was made by the
one who chose to reach place where others never tried to or believed it exist.
‘Others’
is not only a column to fill in. It is their hope to get respect, authority,
equality, love, care and altogether a life.
-Tushar Cancare
