The last good bye !!

"So?" She said while trying to open the umbrella .

"So what.." I replied . I took from her the pink umbrella having  orchid prints all over it . This was just to let her know, that babes I still do care for you .
I took out a pen to push the clip in.

"Here it is..."

"Thanks " she smiled . I never understand the species the almighty has made .You feel like you understand them completely but they are always ready to prove you wrong .

"So... Nidhi ." I uttered while putting on my coat cap. It was raining too heavily on the day . Streets almost covered with H20 in which Nidhi wanted me to be the solute. Yes ,this is practical science.

"Reevan ! Are you going to say more than 'so' today ? " She asked me giving a jump into the H20. Splash!

"Why we are here?" I asked following her.

"I don't know." She said . How can even she say this . She did call me to be with her . It took an hour for me to reach . I paid extra just to be there with her . Yes ,I need a reason that would make my efforts worth .

"Really ." I replied compressing everything I wished to say.

"I mean ..like... its good... I don't know" she said while covering her more properly. 

"You want me to tell you a joke ?" I said trying to direct the converse .

"Haha ,No ! Please . Better you kill me " She laughed . I think it was the moment after an hour of meet where we really talked how it was used to be an year ago .

Two years back in winters I and Nidhi met in my college for cluster championship of robotics . Nidhi was struggling with some of the components of Dragger ,her robot ,when I helped her . It was the time we came in contact and became friends. After couple of months ,things went further and like every story we managed to be in relationship.

Now ,things ain't the same . From last summer we don't talk often . We do ask about life happenings but we don't tell about the same .

It was an hour meeting her but what we could do was laugh on the world's most rotten joke . Things have changed ,but are really we?

"I am leaving." She said taking a half turn on the heels to face me .

"No ! Lets go for a coffee" I said interrupting her and jumped on the roadside paves. Though it was too softly to make sure that it feels like its okay even if she wants to leave .

"Reeevaaan ..Listen ! I am leaving for Canada next week" She said while asking for my hands to help her to be on the paves.

" But why? And when you will be back Nidhi" I interrogated while pulling her up . No ,I didn't want her to be kilometers away . Yes ,we don't even talk much but I don't want her to go like this . I dont want her to leave everything in between  ,atleast before giving it an end .

"My uncle wants me to be there and work in his firm . I do also want to be away from this place . " she said looking at me .

"You want to be away from this place or it is me?"

"Really as if it matters."

"Can't you be clear everytime ?"

"Reevan... why you act like you don't understand anything " She said while rising her amplitude this time.

" Because it is always opposite what you mean and what I understand " I exclaimed.

"You don't want to understand Reevan!" She said and raised her umbrella to cover me in too. She held my hands in and rest her head on my shoulders.

"Atleast you tell me Nidhi . If I don't understand ,please make me ." I said taking the umbrella from her.

"A day you will understand . Somethings are not meant to be teach . You need to learn " she said while poking into her cellphone . She messaged someone and kept it back.

"I want to say something" I looked at her . I felt like I was about to lose everything . I was striving for her . I was feeling I was late for what I was trying . I didnot want to miss the chance . I just wanted to stay here itself . The reason was just not known.

"I know ! But please don't mention it " she said . " Be like what you were these last 365 days. Be very formal with your words . Wish me good luck like you used to before my exams . Just ask me take care of self . Tell me that you will miss me many a times . But don't say what I want to hear . " She continued with tears rolling down .

" I am sorry Nidhi " I apologised holding her hands more tightly this time.

"You don't need to be. You will be missed" she said while shredding her hands out.

" I want you to be here with me but " I said ,to be proper I ordered .

"Why ? "

"I don't know" I replied in a second . I ruined it once again .

"I need to go . My sister is there to pick me up" she said while pointing to a maroon sedan car .

"Yeah ! Let's go" I said heading  .

"Bye!" She said and went into the car .

"Is it the last good bye?" I asked in the most low audible tone I could.

" I don't know . You could have tried more better . I was here just to give me a reason to stay . Reevan a hug at the right moment could have been enough to stop me . I don't know whether you love me or is it that you don't know how to love. " she said and pulled the door .

"Lets go didi ." She asked her sister .

"Good bye Reevan" she waved and the car went off.

I took my phone out to call her and keep my heart out .But she didnot receive. I called it again and this time it was switched off.

I was standing at the same place . I couldn't even feel the rain . Things got pause for minute.

I lost everything I had. I lost her. She never said what she wanted me to be . I was clueless everytime .

Yes ,may be I don't know how to love.

Was this really the last good bye??

-Tushar Cancare